I am feeling very disheartened right now... maybe things are smooth sailing now and i may feel more lucky than the others but what's most important is what comes after that. Whether or not what i have achieved matters in my future. Whether or not i make something out of it. It was something out of desperation...the moment of time i felt like i didn't matter...it was just there at that time so i took advantage of it... but we'll see... in the meantime, i am just discouraged...

negativity negativity negativity...eargh, when will this thought die down?!